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Does this smile reach my eyes?

Does it cover up the ache inside

The pain, the tears, the misery,

I try so hard to hide

Happiness is fleeting

So thin, a lie

In itself a new found pain,

And rememberance, an agonizing cry

Who knew laughter could hurt

so deep it cuts like a knife

and guilt is sure to follow

it's not about my life

Perfection is vital

every look, every word

carefully measured

silence preferred

I cry silently inside, and by myself

i let it go, till sleep

bring darkness

sweet relief

I drive away

the ache is there

To return

the ache has stayed

I am here

nothing has changed

So I wait

Helpless

Giving fear to God

I am told

He knows my sadness

Not the first

Nor the last